Battleship Potemkin blog

Commentary on current events, never lacking in fury and possibly even signifying something.

                       *               *               *               
[NOTE: Continuation of current article and previously published ones can be viewed on the Past articles page but you must click on "Details" on that page to view content.]
"News Bulletin from the Future" 
Introduction: During my first stint as a Jazz radio broadcaster in the late 1980s/early 1990s, I instituted a “slightly controversial” non-musical segment called “News Bulletin from the Future.” These were brief satirical segments commenting on socio-historical trends and events of the time. I briefly resurrect the practice with the following post:
(Published May 14, 2020)
Picture







​Donald J. Trump, June 14, 1946 to July 4, 2022

July 4, 2022
​
DONALD J. TRUMP, CONTROVERSIAL A**HOLE AND 45TH PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES, DEAD AT 76. GLOBAL WEEK OF CELEBRATION CALLED FOR BY U.N.

Cause of death believed to be “an Imploded Ego,” baffling medical experts. “One for the medical textbooks” declares leading authority on mortality

Special to the New York Times

THE FLORIDA WHITE HOUSE, MAR-A-LAGO   Donald John Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, died today at the Florida White House according to official sources. The New York Times was unable to directly confirm the report due to the Exclusionary Zone of five miles radius imposed on its personnel by the administration. The announcement came from the president’s daughter, Ivanka Trump Kushner, who has jointly held all Cabinet posts with her husband, Jared Kushner, for the past six months. Mr. Trump was about 18 months into the extension of his initial term in office, an extension he authorized after canceling the elections scheduled for November of 2020, purportedly over concerns for public safety resulting from the Covid-19 virus pandemic. All attempts to overturn the extension by Congress were thwarted in hearings before the Supreme Court of the United States by 5-4 votes, the ultra-conservative appointees to that court prevailing.

     Ms. Kushner stated “It is an extra tragedy, of course, that the president passed away on this glorious National Holiday, the anniversary of the birth of the greatest nation in the history of the world. All true Americans are deeply saddened by this event. As for Democrats, that’s another story. Because, you know, they’re not Americans.”

     Dr. Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota Medical School, recognized as America’s leading authority on causes of death, stated in an exclusive interview for this publication: “At first, we in the Morbidity/Mortality community were like ‘Whoa! What the hell’s going on here?!’ This is the first known case in history of an Imploded Ego leading directly to death, we believe. Given that the Ego is an invisible component of an individual’s psychological makeup, this was a very difficult diagnosis to arrive at. But by process of elimination of all other plausible causes of mortality, this is what the medical community has arrived at.”

     When pressed for additional detail, Dr. Logsdon explained that he was not in a position to fully explain the phenomenon, but had discussed the matter in some depth with leading clinical psychologists and psychiatrists. “The consensus view appears to be that the fatal blow to Mr. Trump’s Ego was delivered by his spouse’s suit seeking divorce on grounds of ‘I no longer wish to be married to that flaming a**hole!’” Anonymous sources in the legal community told this publication that it was highly unlikely the courts would have sided with Melania Trump in this action. “Especially,” one of them stated flatly, “since Trump had by now appointed some 70 percent of actively sitting Appeals Court Justices.” There is additional speculation that Mr. Trump’s ego had been bruised when the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Armed Forces of the United States had stated that the president’s desired July Fourth Parade in the nation’s Capital would once again not be possible, due to the surge of US military personnel into Afghanistan earlier this year. “The tanks just are not available again, like last year” General Mark Milley had informed Mr. Trump.

     Shortly after the official announcement of Mr. Trump’s passing, the General Assembly of the United Nations nearly unanimously approved a resolution calling for a week-long global celebration of not the life, but the death of, the 45th President. The only “No” votes were cast by the representatives of Israel, Poland, Hungary, The Philippines and Brazil. The Russian Federation voted “Abstain.” Since the resolution cannot be enforced, the Security Council was not involved. The United States of America, of course, had withdrawn from all UN entities and activities early in Trump’s “second” term.

     En route to being sworn in as the 46th President, Vice President Mike Pence would only comment on the unusual circumstances of Mr. Trump’s departure that “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” A far more remarkable comment has reportedly been made by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, at his headquarters-in-exile in northern India. A press statement appearing on official stationery read simply: “We Buddhists do not relish or rejoice at the death of any individual human being. But as the saying goes, ‘There are exceptions to every rule.’ So good riddance to that miserable piece of [excrement]! Let’s party, world!” The statement appeared to be completely authentic. At the Vatican, Pope Francis has thus far been silent, though the Holy Father reportedly has been sighted strolling the halls of his compound with a “mystical” smile on his face.

     The former Majority Leader of the US House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, reached for comment by satellite phone on the tiny South Pacific island to which President Trump exiled her in February 2021, would only say: “Donald Trump and I had our differences, sure, but one must respect the majesty of the office of the President. I am devastated at the news of this untimely death.” After stating that, just before the phone connection was terminated, what sounded like cackling laughter could be heard, followed by what sounded like “Pass that champagne this way, bud!” Meanwhile, the nation and the world await release of the official details of the funeral and burial protocol. It is believed Mr. Trump will be interred at Mar-a-Lago, Florida. A full obituary of Donald J. Trump will appear in this publication as soon as possible.


                                                                                 *          *          *


[Note to Andy Borowitz: Yes, I borrowed the name 'Davis Logsdon' from you. You wanna sue? I could use the publicity!]

END

                                                   *               *               *                                       
Why "Battleship Potemkin"? Sergei Eisenstein's 1925 movie about the mutiny in the Tsar's Black Sea fleet during the failed 1905 Russian revolution is acknowledged as a masterpiece of cinema. The author of this website endorses the film's message: To rise against cruel oppression is not only justified, it is essential for the preservation of human dignity. ​
________________________________________________
​
Previous two blog articles, available on Past articles page:

​​ ________________________________________________
My current writing projects

I am seeking Literary Agent representation for the memoir of my resistance to the American War in Vietnam from within the ranks of the active-duty US military. TAKE THIS WAR AND SHOVE IT! A Most Unwilling Soldier 1967-1971 consists of  approximately 82,000 words of text, plus several appendixes, copies of official government documents and photos.
FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION, GO TO "MEMOIR" PAGE (click  HERE)
_________________________________________________________________
While I endeavor to find a publisher for the memoir, I am having fun writing my first novel. It is a savage satire of the Music Business, of which I have some personal experience. Its title is classified (Top Secret!) for the time being.

This blog site addresses and comments on these topics (among others!): peace, war, US politics, American politics, political analysis, climate crisis, climate change, climate change deniers, Donald J. Trump, social commentary, social criticism, social satire, current events, racism, anti-war movement, anti-racism, religion, religious extremism, religious fundamentalism, atheism, Buddhism, fascism, anti-fascism, socialism, communism, American war in Vietnam, the Vietnam War, Ken Burns, Lynn Novick, "The Vietnam War" PBS TV series, GIs, GI resistance to war, US Army, US military, militarism, anti-militarism, 'Bowe' Bergdahl, national debt, Pentagon budget, literature, books, authors, writers, cinema, music, movies, environment, ecology, anthropology, evolution, human race, humankind, misogyny, homophobia, philosophy, resistance, "Star Trek," "Star Trek: The Next Generation," United States Constitution, The Federalist Papers, James Madison, "The Simpsons," Bob Dylan, "Tombstone Blues," Commander-in-Chief, al-Baghdadi, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Iran, endless wars, Major Danny Sjursen, Fritz Lang, Peter Bogdanovich, The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, Dr. Mabuse the Gambler, M, The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse, Josef Goebbels, Hollywood, The Picture of Dorian Gray
                                         *            *            *            *            *

​INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS NOTICE: Unless otherwise indicated, owner of this site is the sole author and owner of all material posted (with exception of public domain graphics). Permission is granted to share contents of this site elsewhere on the Internet or by other means of reproduction provided original author (Gregory Laxer) is credited. Please include a link to this website as a courtesy. If only excerpts are shared, original context must be accurately conveyed and, again, credited to original author. Please include a link to this website. EXCEPTION: Selections from my as yet unpublished memoir (see Memoir Page of this site) may not be reproduced elsewhere without express permission of the author.
DISCLAIMER: The author/owner of this website is not responsible for or necessarily in agreement with ideas expressed on other websites to which links are provided, nor does he endorse products that may be advertised on this site by the website framework provider.